Savitha Gowda

I watched a YouTube video, in which I got a message to think further on why I want , what I want?

I started thinking about this more deeply. This is the question I was grappling with:

Why do I want peace in this world?

Why do I want humans to live in harmony?

Why? Why? Why?

After going deep, deep, deep inside, I realized, it was because of a selfish motive! What is my selfish motive?

I want to be loved!

I want to be loved, by other humans.

I have a void inside me, that craves love.

When I dug deep inside, I had this profound realization that, all that I do, is to receive Love from others.

Yes, I feel for humanity. Yes, I feel pain, when I see humans fighting each other, killing each other. Yes, I would love to see humans co-operating with each other. All of this and more, is true. All of this, pushes me to speak out. But, what truly motivates me to speak up, is the need for love from other human beings. And, for humans to experience this love for each other. So, where and why does this need for love arise from?

It arises from depravation of love.

Be it from family, friends. Be it from society. Be it from community(nations, groups). Be it from self.

We all have been love depraved from childhood. Yes, we get love from parents. But, that’s not enough or in some cases it is a very conditional love. Some parents use children – so that they have someone to take care of them, in their old age(nothing wrong with that, but it shoudn’t be the only reason for having children!). It is a selfish motive.

The depravation of love starts from when we are small due to:

• Favoritism, bias. Being put down, comparison with other children
• Bullying from other love depraved children, adults.
• Selfish motives of some people.
• Lack of parenting skills.
• Parents playing out their wounds .
• Unfit, immature parents

Many more reasons…

The mind wipe prior to incarnation, compounds this love depravation.

By making us feel isolated and needing to belong to some group, to get love. We are so vulnerable because of mind wipe, our sense of identity is shaped by family and friends, society and community.

This manifests as trying to belong to any group:

• Following a religion to fit in
• Trying to belong in a community
• Following the culture of nations, to belong to a group
• Identify strongly with a caste, race, ethnic group, to feel a sense of belonging

All that we do here, is to gain love and validation from others. That is why we seek to identify so strongly to various labels – nationality, race, ethnicity, caste, gender etc

If we don’t identify to any of these labels, we are at a loss. We feel cut off; we feel like a ship marooned in mid sea, like a kite cut off spiraling down. Then, we are hit with the question – Who Am I? And, the world has no answer for this question!

We all put on a mask, so as to belong, to get love in any form, from any group of human beings.

We don’t want to speak up or get out of our comfort zone for fear of loosing this sense of belonging or love.

We go along with the herd(be it community, nation, colour etc) and condone, perpetrate atrocities or other humans.

We are so afraid to go against the group because of a sense of being ostracized and hated.

It is sad that this need for belonging, for love, is what is causing all this hatred and intolerance.

This need for feeling superior

This need for putting down others

This need for intolerance, hatred, fear, need to dominate, belittling others, laughing at others…..

We have been conditioned to believe :

We are not good enough

We are inferior, others are better than you, we are losers if we don’t do x,y,z

The brainwashing is so huge that we don’t know how or where to start reversing it.

All the above, stem from a lack of self-love and lack of love for others.

When we do not love ourselves, we actively seek it from others. And, that’s when the problem starts….

THIS is the CORE wound of Humanity!

Depravation of Love. Self-Love and Love from other humans. Both.

Depravation of the most fundamental aspect of a human being/consciousness/awareness/soul – whatever term you want to use.

Without understanding this we throw tantrums like small kids, to seek attention from others.

Unfortunately, adults tantrums are lethal and soul destroying.

Unless, we love ourselves , forgive ourselves and others, we cannot heal this core wound.

Much of what is being played out in the world now, is a self-defense mechanism. A manifestation of Humanity’s core wound i.e. Lack of Love!

A trigger is needed to chip away at the wall that each one of us, has been built around our hearts, to protect ourselves. To open our hearts, accept our faults, heal ourselves, love ourselves and spread this love to other human beings.

My Actions:

I do LOVE myself. Is it 100%? No. It’s a work in progress. Last few years, has been a huge learning curve in self-love, for me. It has been all about, standing up for myself, standing in my power, loving myself for who I am.

Does that mean I shouldn’t want love from my fellow human beings?

No!

But, seeking love externally, when you don’t love yourself, will not fulfill the void inside of you. You will always people please, not set boundaries, sacrifice yourself. It’s a recipe for disaster! You will attract partners who will teach you self love.

Only, when you love yourself, can you feel love and deep compassion, for others.

So, I am using my need for love, to fuel me, to do my bit, in helping to bring peace and harmony in this world.

As I heal myself, love myself more; my capacity for love, for humanity grows exponentially. And, it drives me to do all it takes from my side to achieve my wish.